This Septic Isle

Conservation - Process by which dwindling areas of natural beauty are preserved for future generations to build

Dead - Not answering one's mobile phone or responding to emails

Empathy - The shared understanding between two people on the same pay grade

Epidemic - The rapid and uncontrollable spread of anything contagious through newspapers

Part-time employee - Full-time employee with a smoking habit, a FaceBook page and an ebay account

Refrigerator - Device for keeping salad and vegetables chilled before throwing them away unused

Threatening letters - MRSA, ASBO, OHMS, GBH, HIV, etc.

Wendy House - Play home now banned from schools for giving children unrealistic expectations of future home ownership

Xenophobia - The Englishman's hatred of foreigners - from the Latin words 'xenos' and 'phobos'